Reality bites

Stop filling in the blanks yourself.

This statement cut deep. A friend I really care about just told me that and it pierced me.

It was a misunderstanding where I assumed they felt differently than they actually did. And it was an honest mistake…however that statement made me reflect.

That is precisely what I have been doing… with my relationships, friendships, work and life. I have been filling in the blanks myself… filling in the spaces where I want and need more with just excuses and make believe.

When situations are not what they should be, or there is something lacking, I have been filling in the blank spaces with what I hope to have/feel. I have not been hoping in the form of being positive or manifesting, I have been coddling myself, appeasing my fragile heart, basically fooling myself into a false sense of comfort so I don’t hurt.

I have been fooling myself into believing what I want to believe… and not seeing reality for what it truly is. Sometimes, reality is harsh, and to accept the cold hard truth that it is- just fucking hurts- it tears you apart. But it’s times like this… when I realize I want to be stronger. I don’t want to live in a world made of fake securities that make me an insecure weak individual.

As much as it hurts, I want to be clear as to what is actually being offered to me, what is real & what is truly meant for me. The only way to do that is to face the harsh reality of the situation, accept it and continue on into the unknown. Hoping for the best outcomes but being prepared for the worst?